Shaggy Dog Story

[Rusty's Uncle]

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride,he sticks his head out the window? 

[RicePuddin]

I was told that cats are just gay dogs.

[bis13]

bugger ive been blowing the wrong end as my terrier loves it! he must be a cat! as for head out the window he cant do that and drive at the same time!

[Allan]

On the animal thing, can anyone tell me why horses stand on three legs?

[Hazey-n-Marc]

Posing?

[popik81]

Can you imagine stand all day? one leg is always resting in this case...

[Rusty's Uncle]

I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
 

[Hazey-n-Marc]

.

[bis13]

a white horse walks into a pub walks up to the bar and the barman says "thats amazing i have a whisky named after you!", the horse sits down on a stool looks him in the eyes and replies "what Dobbin?".

[Pete126]

LOL

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"

Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!

Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!

Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: How do you know if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!

[michaelodonnell500]

this forum is going to the dogs!

[Hazey-n-Marc]

At least there haven't been any jokes about German sausage. They are the wurst.

[Bar Vitelli]

What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal?

"That hit the spots!"

 

[RicePuddin]

I seen this on Facebook.

1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?

2. A clerk at a butcher shop stands five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three ...feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billie was born on December 28th, yet her birthday always falls in the summer. How is this possible?

7. In British Columbia you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

8. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

9. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg is white” or “The yolk of the egg are white?”

10. A farmer has five haystacks in one field and four haystacks in another. How many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in one field?

[gsxr126]

Dogs are better than wives because:

the later you are, the more excited a dog is t see you;

dogs forgive you for playing with other dogs;

if a dog is gorgeous, other dogs dont hate it;

dogs dont notice if you call them by another dogs name;

dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor;

a dogs parents never visit;

dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across;

dogs cant talk;

a dog is ready to go 24/7;

dogs find you amusing when you're drunk;

dogs like to go hunting;

a dog wont wake you up to ask - if I died would you get another dog:

if a dog has babies you can give them away;

if a dog smells another dog on you they just think its interesting;

dogs dont let magazine articles rule their lives;

if a dog leaves you, it wont take half your stuff with it